I have reached a stage in my life, where at least romantically, I am starting to grow up. At least I think so.
Things between Chris and I were going really well. I enjoyed hanging out with him, and all my friends liked him, but something was still amiss. As fucked up as my relationship with Chase was, I realized that I'm not quite over him. I was single for approximately 3 weeks, maybe a month, before I ran into Chris again. I didn't give myself time to grieve over what had happened. I guess it didn't occur to me just HOW much what happened bothered me. And I didn't think it was fair to Chris to string him along while I figured out what was going on in my head. I need time to be me. And I have a serious habit of jumping into another relationship not long after I end the previous one. I don't really take time to think about what is the best course of action for me to take. I just get involved with someone else, basically BECAUSE it takes my mind off things. And I should really stop doing that. So, in case you can't tell, I broke up with Chris.
Honestly, the break-up between Chase and myself was really messy. It was a lot because we were both trying to out-hurt the other one. This break-up with Chris is messing with me in a big way. It's been really hard. I miss him a lot, but I don't think spending time with him is the wisest idea right now. It's way too easy to fall back into a relationship. I mean, Danny and I did it. It just causes a lot of problems, and definitely doesn't fix any. I don't know what the future holds for me and Chris, hopefully eventually he and I can be friends, or possibly more. But if never wants to speak to me again, I understand. I don't blame him, that's for sure.